livewelltoday.net

LAUGHTER LOUNGE

The objective in life is to be happy. To smile, laugh, bring joy to others. Laughter Lounge provides a few mintues break from the stress, work, and obligations we have. 

Read and refer your friends and family here.

They Got Time
Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calendar? 
They each got six months! 

Knock Knock
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Robin.
Robin who?
Robin you! Hand over your cash!


12 Reasons to Smile

1.   Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.
2.  Marriage changes passion.  Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
3.  I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said "Implants?" She hit me.
4.  How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
5.  A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Darn...that was fun!"
6.  I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!
7.  When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunky dunk."
8.  Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.
9.  Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over? AMEN!
10.  Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?
11.  Wouldn't you know it...Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.
12.  Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed in a federal building?

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity.
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with That.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over their Caffeine Addictions, Switch To Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds."
7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."
8. Don't use any punctuation
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat with a serious face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play Tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.
16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."
20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity.......
Send this to someone to make them smile....it's called THERAPY!

Be Careful What You Wish For

A Fairy told a married couple: "For being such an exemplary married couple for 25 years, I will give you each a wish".
 "I want to travel around the world with my dearest husband" said the wife. The fairy moved her magic stick and abracadabra, two tickets appeared in her hands.
Now it was the husband’s turn. He thought for a moment and said: "Well, this moment is very romantic, but an opportunity like this only occurs once in a lifetime. So, I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me". The wife was deeply disappointed but a wish was a wish. The fairy made a circle with her magic stick and abracadabra; suddenly the husband was 90 years old! 

A little twist on the "Birds & Bees"

A little boy asked his father "daddy, how was I born?"
Dad responds; "Ah, my son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway.   So here it goes."

"Well, you see, your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on msn.com. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. Then we sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall. And since it was too late to hit the delete button; nine months later a blessed little pop-up appeared and said "You've got male."